Marriage success is not attained by luck. It requires hard work and patience, as well as a lot of reflection. By being mindful of how satisfied you are in your relationship in addition to being aware of how your partner feels, you’ll be able to stop problems before they make a heavy impact. The reasons marriages fail aren’t always so obvious, either, which is why you need to be tuned in at all times to be able to identify any issues. If things aren’t so smooth with your husband or wife right now, here are five possible reasons to not overlook.
1. You forgot about friendship.
Remember when your husband or wife was once your best friend? You spent hours talking about almost everything and felt so lucky that you married someone you loved hanging out with. So, what happened? Over the years, life and its responsibilities got in the way and you lost sight of what was once a significant pillar of your relationship. You stopped being friends in place of being partners, parents, or housemates.
2. You expected it to keep working without any effort.
Marriage will always require work, especially the longer you’ve been together. Just because you two aren’t fighting doesn’t mean there isn’t room for improvement. Remaining comfortable for too long isn’t the best for relationships, either. You need to change things up occasionally even before things are looking stagnant to keep things fresh and exciting. Maintaining intimacy is also an important factor in making a marriage last since the connection two people share during s*x goes beyond physical.
3. You forgot who they fell in love with.
No one is the same person they were at the altar, but it’s important to remember the characteristics your partner loved you for in the beginning. Not everyone can continue being that spontaneous adventurer, but if spontaneity is what first hooked them, suggest fun activities for you to do together on a whim. Just because we all grow up doesn’t mean we have to lose who we were. And I’m not talking about your crazy party-going days — there are ways to channel your fun-loving spirit without having to relive those exact memories. It’s healthy to remind him or her that you still have some of their favorite qualities.
4. You let things go unaddressed for too long.
Marriages don’t fail overnight. Chances are that the signs were there for years but neither of you had the courage to bring it up or didn’t think it was important enough to discuss. When you continuously sweep things under the rug, it will eventually accumulate to be something larger. Good communication is a huge reason relationships are successful. Issues are addressed as soon as they appear and don’t resurface down the road. If you’re unhappy in your relationship, for example, how will things get any better if you keep that to yourself?
5. It was wrong from the start.
Maybe you both rushed into things or you fell more in love with how he or she looked on paper than who they really were. When you set yourself up for failure, your marriage doesn’t miraculously become a dream partnership. That’s not to say that there aren’t exceptions, but you’ll have that much more difficulty over the years when you already have obstacles right off the bat. It’s important to not stay in your marriage for the wrong reasons, either.